Saturday, October 31, 2009
Today's a happy day. Charissa's finally a happy kid! :DI enjoyed the htht with :D. It's been a long time ever since I really laughed out. The feeling's actually so great! :D Being happy is one of the best thing that you can ever wish for seriously. Though it wasn't really a long talk, but it's really good being able to thrash everything out. (:I really enjoyed the company of :D! Thanks dear! You certainly made my day! (:
signing off with passion @ {10/31/2009 11:55:00 PM}
Friday, October 30, 2009
What should I do?I just feel hurt when I hear you cannot make it. I know how disappointed they are but that doesn't mean that I'm not. Although I've said that I'm prepared for retention but that doesn't mean I do not feel anything. I'm just trying to stay calm but do you know how sucky this is? Thinking that you won't be able to promote with your classmates, you won't be able to attend lectures and tutorials with them anymore, you won't be able to attend prom with them. Do you know how terribly I feel? I do not have a choice, I just can't make it. Who wants to retain when they can be promoted? Although there may be some exceptions.I want to try again but I'm afraid of the outcome. I'm afraid to disappoint them once again, I don't want to give them false hopes. Although daddy may seem like he's alright, he said that it's okay, but I know I've disappoint him. They told me to consider carefully, I am trying to. But I really do not know what to do. It seems that I'm in a maze, I'm lost inside. I know I've to be independent, I've to learn how to walk out myself. I know I've got to pick up from where I fall no matter how hard it is going to be, this is not the end. I still have got a long way to go.Is Poly really a better choice?Cry myself to sleep?
signing off with passion @ {10/30/2009 12:07:00 AM}
Thursday, October 29, 2009
I thought I was well prepared. I thought I could handle myself well. But I guess I'm just trying to be strong. This sucks terribly.
signing off with passion @ {10/29/2009 09:59:00 AM}
Wednesday, October 28, 2009
If I said I'm fine, I would be lying. If I said everything doesn't matter, it would only be true to a certain extent. If I said I will be able to overcome all these myself, if I said I can do it, actually in reality, all these aren't easy at all. I know no one says that it's going to be easy but it's just too taxing. I'm tired, but I know I've to carry on. I've to pull through, I cannot give up for if I give up, I'll be letting my loved ones down.80% of my heart says retain, but mummy asked me this question that day. She asked, "Are you sure you can make it through next year? If not you will be wasting your time." I asked her back, "Are you sure that I will be able to make it through Poly?" And now, I'm hesitating. I really love SR and I do not want to leave. However, I should also think of my future. What makes me so sure that I will be able to do well next year?Perhaps it's results day tomorrow and I'm worried about it. I know I won't be able to promote or be able to take the re-exam. Retain is the only choice. I said that I'm prepared to be retained and I really meant it but there's just this element that makes me not feel right. I don't know what's that. Fear? Anxious?I need a shoulder or perhaps a hug now? I don't even know what I need.This just sucks. ):
signing off with passion @ {10/28/2009 08:17:00 PM}
Oh well, just heard that 1/3 of the class will get promoted, another 1/3 would be able to sit for re-exam and the last 1/3 will be retained.Actually I'm quite prepared to get retained already. But there's still something in me which I don't know what is that. It's making me feel uneasy. Friends? Parents? I don't know.Alright, back to PW.
signing off with passion @ {10/28/2009 07:53:00 AM}
Sunday, October 25, 2009
It's 20 mins past 12.24/10/09It was a long and tired day.Nike Human race was a blast. I completed the race within 1 hour 30 mins. To think of that, I only trained 2km last last week. Hahaha. Not too bad I guess. Van's birthday surprise was a blast too. Finally the long awaited party. I really thank all those who helped me to make this party a success. Van's friend especially, Joyce! Thanks for lending me a helping hand and getting everyone to come down. I appreciate greatly! :D The rest, clique and everyone else, thank you for helping me and hope you guys had a great time today. (:And to my dearest Vantay! :DHappy 18th Birthday! What I wanted to tell you are all written on the photo already, so yeah, I hope you enjoyed your shocked yet fun birthday. It was really indeed a great reunion. (: We didn't take much photos together today, so no uploads.Van, Yi Han, Joanne, Li Rong and me went to the Marina Barrage recently. Nice nice photos. But I'm lazy to upload here. They are up on facebook. BBQ photos too. (:PW meeting tomorrow. Good night! :D
signing off with passion @ {10/25/2009 12:20:00 AM}
Tuesday, October 20, 2009
Results are out and yes, they weren't promising at all. Was it even a wrong choice in the first place?Retain? Poly? Others?It's not the fear of retaining but it is the fear of how your parents will be looked down.I don't want this to happen. I feel guilty for not doing well. There may be advancement, but what's the point? Is time the only factor that I need or otherwise?What should I do?It's tough to make the decision. The thought of being separated from your classmates, with those you're closed to, the feeling just sucks. I just can't hold my emotions. My eyes hurt! My head hurt too! ):Learning by Living - C21You are learning by livingParaglide the winds of changeMake it by tryingDon't hold back just get it on and on
signing off with passion @ {10/20/2009 10:07:00 AM}
Sunday, October 11, 2009
Charissa is low low low. ):WR.I&R.What's next?Screwed up.
signing off with passion @ {10/11/2009 10:33:00 PM}
Thursday, October 08, 2009
It's so not my day today.I'm pissed, angry, upset, etc.Promos just ended like 1 day ago, and here comes "you very free right, still can go shopping. No need read books ah?" Like wtf, I'm a human okay! I need a breather too alright. I always thought they understand me. But, no.Another joke for the day, "How I know you got go shopping a not ah? Everytime go out study until so late, who knows you?" How great? Ya right, I went to shop and bought the whole Singapore. I'm freaking pissed when I heard this seriously. Like hello, I'm trying so hard, trying my best to study and hoping to get promoted and stuffs. And now, you're doubting me like that. Great.I still have lots of it. Joker. Today's the greatest joke ever.On a side note, outing with the girls tomorrow is cancelled. That means, Tennis and bowling. :D I know they will make my day. :D
signing off with passion @ {10/08/2009 11:35:00 PM}
Wednesday, October 07, 2009
Oh yeah! It's finally over! My locker is packed with almost all my notes! Haha! Today was fun! Korean BBQ with Van, Yi Han, Li Rong, Jia Hao and Rong Li. Full to the max! :DWe went to the arcade and you should see how we behave man. We just got so excited over stickers! HAHA! Bugis street followed by a movie at E-Hub, Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs! It's somewhat hilarious. Hehe. :D Shopping with mummy tomorrow, I think. Friday most probably outing with my lovely girls? :D And I'm so sorry to the other special bunch of people, I've to give tennis, bowling and pool a miss. Haha. Next time alright! :D
signing off with passion @ {10/07/2009 11:51:00 PM}
Tuesday, October 06, 2009
Chemistry Paper 1 today was alright, I hope. The last paper tomorrow and it's freedom. Had breakfast after the paper and headed to Van's house. Well, supposedly to study but ended up we didn't. We spent the whole afternoon doing some silly things. The post-promos timetable doesn't look good and it's worsen by the fact that 30th October would be Commendation Day. I don't want this day to come, not that I'm afraid of retaining but I don't wish to see the class to be splitted. ): The feeling just sucks. I was on the bus just now and I stood throughout the ride. Lots of memories be it happy or sad flashed through my mind. Looking back on how we first got together and how close we became after these few months, I really hate to split. Well, I know that this is a phase of life and we've got to face it, however when you think back, class without them wouldn't be fun and the same anymore. As I'm thinking, tears just rolled down. I even took the longer way home by climbing the overhead bridge and all, sitting down at the void deck near my house. This feeling isn't good at all, it just sucks seriously. Imagine those so close to you would suddenly disappear from your life, not literally though, but it just made me go low low low. Although we'll still be in the same school and that what Van said is true, "The friendship forged will never be erased." But the feeling just sucks. Argh! I don't know why this affects me so much but I guess it's really that we're so bonded and stuffs which makes me sad if we're going to get separated. No more lame jokes, no more laughing together, no more lunching together, no more going lectures together, no more...Van said that I'm not god and I will not know until the day comes. But I don't even want the day to come because I think that it will hurt badly. Oh man, I'm supposed to be studying for my Biology paper tomorrow, but this seriously dampens my mood. ):
signing off with passion @ {10/06/2009 07:52:00 PM}
Monday, October 05, 2009
I don't know why I'm still wide awake at such ungodly hour. I just can't get to sleep when my head is already exploding. Although there's no paper tomorrow, I've consultation with Ms Yong and the rest of the lovely people! :D Lots of brain cells killed over these two days. Perhaps, eyesight might be failing too? Haha. Just kidding. Obviously some things happened and I'm not going to go into detail. But my dear girl*, cheer up kay! You know who you are. You have lots of people around you, giving you their support alright. You know that even if the clouds fall on you, there're still 5 people who will hold it up for you right. (:Anyway, two more papers to go and I'm going to conquer them all. I will! :D"Perseverance is more prevailing than violence; and many things which cannot be overcome when they are together, yield themselves up when taken little by little."*Names are removed to protect the identity of the person. (:
signing off with passion @ {10/05/2009 02:11:00 AM}
Saturday, October 03, 2009
It has almost been a month since I last posted and I'm back with some pictures this time round! :DPromos are ending in a few days time, I'm left with MCQ(s)! Promos seemed to be pretty screwed. Oh well... I told Mum that day that if I'm going to get retained, I'm would most prolly change my subject combination. Let's hope not though, fingers crossed!Day out with this bunch of girls (+/-) yesterday and the day before. Fun fun time with them! :D
:D
:D
:D
I miss you girls seriously! Meet up soon alright!
And last but not least, I miss you guys! 4/8 '08!
And of course, BIOSTRYSICS!
Most of them are still having their promos! Meet up after promos kay! :D
"Even if the results aren't immediate, it will show one day." I love this phrase kay! Thank you to you know who you are! :D
Thank you girls for those encouragements and concerns! Be it post-its, messages, etc. You girls know who you are. (:
I'm so looking forward to the post promos activities! It's going to be fun! Not forgetting Nike Human Race = Time to train!
Alright, that's for now. (:
signing off with passion @ {10/03/2009 07:30:00 PM}
